I've gotta admit
It feels so great, even better than before. Worth the troubles, you make me feel amazing. I love being with you, its a feeling no one else has given me. <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
Anyway, work is draining me, and apparently my parents as well. That's so fucking retarded, they stress and pressure me so much when its the last thing I need. Like holy shit man I can't wait til the day I walk out of here and walk in to the doors of my own place. I'm not down for dumb ass running away to random house cause I know I won't make real progress. When the right moment comes everything will work out. So tired now, wish I wasn't laying down alone :( te quiero wolf, eres lindo en tantas maneras, creo que esta ves nosotros vamos a hacer tan tan tan bien.

I'm bringing myself down so much. I have no motivation, no push. I'm a fuckin mess, I'm really tired of feeling like this. I put on a good face when I need to but at the end if the day all I want is to be next to you. I swear man, I'm gonna force myself to move on if this isn't going anywhere past here.

1234

http://pamcakesfosho.tumblr.com
http://pamcakesfosho.tumblr.com
http://pamcakesfosho.tumblr.com
:)

progressing, slowly, not too surely. but definitely progressing.
working, going to class, partying, loving, living.
i still miss you so much and every day i hope that your feelings aren't changing in negative ways. i'm trying to be patient i really am. i still bring myself down sometimes when i have long nights ahead of me and there's nothing but memories of you on my mind. i just hope this ends out as good as it seems it will.


i wanna get my first tattoo already, and my second..and third..
i thought about getting a heart, not symmetrical.. on my wrist. the side of it. and the end of the heart starts forming a letter and it encircles the heart and says "immerse your soul in love."

its the last lines from Radiohead's "street spirit"
y/n?

night/day

both cause me to feel completely different. work seems easy, its definitely a relief to my thoughts.
i'm glad im close to manny again. he's seriously one of the like-3 people i can hang out with alot lately and not get annoyed of. thanks for taking my mind off of shit so many times and doing so much dumb shit to make me almost piss myself from laughter. i love him much man.
i'm trying to lift myself up even when im home alone.
its hard though, cause i'm always gonna end up thinking about you at the end of the day.

i don't know what goes on in your head, or how you're doing, but i'm guessing you're doing more than fine. enjoy yourself.

i really

hope you miss me

HOLY

COCK AND BALLS WHY IS BRAND NEW SO GOOD
hehehhheeehhheheh 3:05 am im kinda hyper but super sleepy at the same time.
im feeling some progress.

menos el oso

everything hurts and aches on my body, inside and out.
i got wrecked last night and threw up way too many times.
fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucking gay.
nothing goes good lately, really.

Everytime I wake up I feel like I'm in a really bad dream

Good things happen, but I don't feel happy at all.

If it takes you

I don't want to.
If it makes you scared
In the bare, anyway.

If it makes you, I don't want to..
See your face when you feel
Not alive.

If you're lying in bed with the pride of a lion
Are you there?
If you're shrewd enough to be underlined
You are there.

A world premier.

yoursyoursyours

it may not feel like it to you, but thats what it is. one hundred fucking percent.
man. i dont even know how to feel anymore, this shit has drained me completely. i just feel numb and out of place, i miss how it felt.
i dont know how to act normal.
its crazy how one single person can have so much control over you when they dont even mean to. its crazy how weak and vulnerable you feel. its crazy how much you feel of you is not there.
i don't want to be fucking friends.
i want everything to fucking rewind.


i miss you so much.
id do anything.:(

clearly

the worst day in the history of all days.

i am scum.



incubus live is quite amazing though.

it

comes back to haunt me more than you think.

i wish i could see you now, i wish you would show that you felt as much as i do.
i miss everything about you.
i'm gonna take a wild guess that this isn't necessarily good.

:(

talking through glass

im taking my shit with me and dealing with it all step by step.

btw listen to thrice's new album.

females

like to feel important
like to feel exceptional
like to feel cherished
value even the smallest attempts at gestures of appreciation;
even the smallest indications that express the feelings and emotions felt.
gestures to ensure it isn't a one way road.
a random simple note, a 4 page letter, a single sunflower, noticeable attempts, a dinner date, a quick drawing, anything with a distinct significance.

: distinguished by some unusual quality: being in some way superior : held in particular esteem : readily distinguishable from others of the same category : being other than the usual.

they like to feel special, not under appreciated



just jumbled up thoughts i needed to let out, or some advice. however you'd like to take it.

the most dangerous commercials

up and down up and down high and low laugh and cry;
ups and downs make up my days lately.

i'm on up right now, but lets see what happens after i wake up in a few hours.

whoever is trying to mess with my shit is failing really hard. i hope its a girl, i wanna fight.

failure by design

brand new night<3

sooo much shit on my mind. i'm getting to the bottom of everything i wont be satisfied til i do,
i've been neglecting my best friend and it makes me feel so shitty when i think about it.

i hope i hope i hope for positive occurrences in the very near future.

i will possess your heart

i dont know what i am doing anymore, and its really starting to get to me.
things aren't improving in any way whatsoever.



buuuuuuuuuut, i've been painting all day.
working on a new canvas..
that picture makes it look more interesting than it is, but i'm aiming for something like that.
its half of that, and i'm running out of ideas yet again...

i'm in desperate need of a job hunting buddy.

I never loved nobody fully

Always one foot on the ground
And by protecting my heart truly
I got lost in the sounds
I hear in my mind
All these voices
I hear in my mind all these words
I hear in my mind all this music

And it breaks my heart
And it breaks my heart
And it breaks my heart
It breaks my heart

And suppose I never met you
Suppose we never fell in love
Suppose I never ever let you kiss me so sweet and so soft
Suppose I never ever saw you
Suppose we never ever called
Suppose I kept on singing love songs just to break my own fall
Just to break my fall
Just to break my fall
Break my fall
Break my fall


everytime i go to vagabond, something always happens.
i think this calls for a change!

why

are you so amazing?

entering

a great state of depression. FUCKING AWESOME!
yesterday was the best day ever and today is the worst day ever.

i don't want my birthday, i don't want 18, i don't want anything anymore. i want to be left alone
none of you fucking understand.
i feel like i'm back in junior year again.
i have no more strength in me.

falling into place

My next goal is to get that tatted beautiful as fuck after my birthday.

I feel like people arent gonna remember that day for some reason, im expecting nothing cause birthdays usually suck...
but i'm definitely gonna try my hardest for that not to happen.

kinda lame weekend.
i've been growing tired of everything. people bother me more and more and fucking more.
i don't see myself becoming a pothead again, which is progress i suppose... oh and i lost 3 pounds hollaholla

i'm glad i'm close to the people i have. i love bonds and relationships.
speaking of,
i miss wolf way too much. he's beyond great in every single way. i wish i wasn't so timid around his friends, thats usually what i'm not. i'll let my guard down eventually.

fuck. 5:26 am?
sweet dreams dreamers.

Cause I've seen more spine on jellyfish

I've seen more guts on eleven-year-old kids

Have another drink and drive yourself home

I hope there's ice on all the roads

And you can think of me when you forget your seatbelt

then when your head goes through the windshield






Passion, longing desire, cherished, wishful.
they all add up to the mixture of feelings that build up inside of me without hesitation.
lets just hope it doesnt come back and bite me in the ass.

the garden that you planted

remains.


i've learned over time that promises are just strings of hope given that always break.
but some always seem to make me smile.
sticksandpancake (7:22:56 PM): I love you Pam
sticksandpancake (7:23:03 PM): Don't ever forget.
sticksandpancake (7:23:09 PM): I promise I always will.

i guess that's how the future's doneee

hooked on the lykke li station on pandora..

i'm slightly unsure how i feel about my new jet black hair, but it doesn't matter too much anyways.
i've been feeling the insanity more and more a little each day and i really want to be content with everything and get my shit together already. after my birthday next week things should start getting on track. i hate feeling lost.

this past week brought upon way too many unnecessary emotions.
why can't things happen when they're supposed to?

good news is, macy's security slacks even at its so called best!
bad news is, i've been wishing i could start over one too many times lately.

damn.